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Colonel1

Colonel Ramirez in the Wonka0111 Asteroid Fortress.

Colonel Ramirez is an officer in Wonka0111's armed forces and a starship pilot, who assisted Microsoft Mike and his allies throughout Microsoft Mike's Space Adventure.

History

Colonel Ramirez's first appearance was in Microsoft Mike's Space Adventure Episode 4, after Mike contacted Wonka0111 for help getting off Mars 2 due to Linux Anna destroying their previous starship. Ramirez then arrived in his flagship, a ROFL-Dragon-class ship, to help them. Not much is known about Ramirez prior to this, but it was revealed by Ramirez himself that he is actually the twin brother of Colonel Quaritch from the movie Avatar, which explains their identical appearances. However, he changed his last name to "Ramirez" after Wonka0111 kept making him do everything, in a reference to the Modern Warfare 2 meme "Ramirez, Do Everything."

After taking the heroes back to Wonka0111's Asteroid Fortress, the video creator himself joined the team and Ramirez, along with Bob, flew them to Earth 2 in order to rescue the captive Microsoft Sam and free Earth 2 from Linux Anna's control. After landing on Earth 2, Ramirez stayed aboard the ship while the others made their way to the Linux Fortress to confront Linux Anna. Several misadventures later, Bob used a connection with the previously unknown Bob Jr. to contact Ramirez, asking for reinforcements. Ramirez promptly flew the ship back to the Linux Fortress and used the ship's weapons to defeat and capture Linux Anna. Ramirez was last seen guarding Linux Diarrhanna and the Tux Clones in the Asteroid Fortress prison, alongside Microsoft Geezer .

Characteristics

Colonel Ramirez, in addition to his piloting and military skills, is often asked by other characters (usually Wonka0111 himself) to do difficult tasks using absurdly useless items, which is also a reference to the Ramirez meme. Though he usually shouts Thunderbirds101's classic profanity line in response to these requests, he always agrees to do them and seemingly manages to do so each time. However, he is somewhat incompetent when it comes to doing ordinary tasks, as when helping Microsoft Geezer guard/torture Linux Diarrhanna, he continuously screws up his simple assignments.

Trivia

  • Both Ramirez's image (inspired by Colonel Quaritch) and his ship, the ROFL-Dragon, are taken from the same movie, James Cameron's Avatar. This is explained by the fact that Ramirez is actually Quaritch's twin brother who changed his last name.
  • His usual catchphrase (in response to an absurd request) is the following: GODDAMMITSONOFABITCHPIECEOFSHITMOTHEREFFINGASSHOLEEFFEFFEFF! FINE! The censored "Effs" are due to the same user who complained about Mike's use of the F-word in Wonka0111's classic profanity line. However, despite this reaction, Ramirez always seems to do the thing requested of him.

Ridiculous Things He Has Been Asked To Do

  • "Destroy that incoming Pave Low with your throwing knife while we're busy" - Wonka0111
  • "Now go clean my toilet with a rubber chicken" - Wonka0111
  • "Decelerate the spaceship using a piece of paper and a ceiling fan" - Bob, while reading the Rules for Proper Deceleration
  • "Defeat the entire Tux Clone army with a toothpick and some soggy toilet paper" - This was not an actual quote, but was what he was doing when asked to assist the heroes in Microsoft Mike's Space Adventure Episode 9. It is assumed an unnamed member of the TTS Alliance asked him to do this.
  • "Start the ROFL-Dragon using a paperclip and some duct tape" - Bob Jr., as passed telepathically by Bob from Wonka0111. However, after Bob Jr. said this, Ramirez pointed out that it was an emergency and did not shout TB101's Classic Profanity Line as usual.
  • "Make Scotty 12 billion more baloney sandwiches using nothing but a pipe cleaner and a jar of salt" - Radar Overseer Scotty
  • "Guard Linux Diarrhanna using a plunger and a roll of toilet paper" - Wonka0111. However, it was later pointed out that these are perfectly reasonable weapons to use to guard a living piece of diarrhea.
  • "Find some Engrish using a moldy loaf of bread and a kleenex" - Microsoft Geezer
  • "Fix a hole in the fortress hull with some pipe cleaners and a piece of French toast" - Microsoft Sam, this was not an actual quote but was indirectly explained to Microsoft Geezer as the reason why Ramirez was so busy in "Linux Diarrhanna Reads Stupid Signs."

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