General Zerg

General Arnold Zerg, Chairman of the Third Soviet Lulz Brigade

General Arnold Lance Zerg was the former chairman of the Soviet Lulz Brigade in its third reformation after the death of Warlord Hillard and Krank Shot Krack's assassination.

Zerg was the leader of the SLB until a certain cybernetic being infiltrated the original leader's escape chopper.

Early Life

Zerg was born Arnold Saint Paul Zergan. He had often shouted most of his life, which explains how he grew his gigantic teeth. Due to some problems with his parents, Zerg lived with his grandmother.

He went into military when he was fifteen, after his grandmother was evicted and his parents were killed by a hired hitman.

Military Career

Zerg was a ranger for the USSR during the final years of Pieboy6000's reign of the country, for twenty-six years until he was discharged for the scandalous murder of a comrade. Afterwards, The Soviet Lulz Brigade {Led by Krank Shot Krack at the time} recruited him and four other men. They blockaded an area south of Chinom during the Wave of Destruction, but were forced to retreat after Krank Shot Krack was assassinated by an unknown entity from a huge distance. Zerg was later appointed General of the army, and chairman of the splinter clan.

Project Revival/The War in Santa Lolica

Zerg then went along with Krank Shot Krack's original plan, to revive Scottyvich Baloneykov, the "proudest" leader of their clan. They were successful in starting the invasion of CaliROFLia in order to replace the casualties of the SLB Lab airstrikes with USSR defects in the area. Scottyvich then ordered the team to reach their secretive base so he could converse with Satan about having the Army of Hell's Servants assist the Soviet Lulz Brigade. Zerg also was with Scottyvich when they went to ROFLea 51 to find the remains of Bruce Lee, but were ambushed by Legion, who killed Scottyvich for tresspassing.

Supposed Death/Transformation

Main Article: Prime Commander

After Zerg called Legion a "piece of scrap metal" Legion retaliated not by gunfire, but by genetically altering his DNA coding, thus turning him into a geth prime, who would eventually be known as the Prime Commander. At First, Zerg was resistant of Legion's commands, but after Legion used his phaser abilites to change his train of thought, the Commander followed Legion's every order. Thus, the man known as Arnold Zerg was no more, as he could only watch as his people were transformed into geth soldiers.
WA GethPrime

Zerg as the Prime Commander during the Heretic Station's Construction


  • Zerg is basically a photo of R. Lee Ermey, but with a crazy free-hand-drawn head superimposed onto his face.
  • Zerg's head was originally planned to be colored white, with no eyeborws, but was revised due to the design being less intimidating and too bland of a look.
  • Zerg is the only member of the Soviet Lulz Brigade who is technically still alive.
  • Zerg was originally intended to be killed off alongside Scottyvich Baloneykov, but through some last-minute scriptwriting and well-placed thought processes, It was finally confirmed that Zerg would become the Prime Commander

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