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Linux Diarrhanna Reads Stupid Signs-008:15

Linux Diarrhanna Reads Stupid Signs-0

"Linux Diarrhanna Reads Stupid Signs" is the second of the one-shot videos by Wonka0111 following Microsoft Mike's Space Adventure. It stars Linux Diarrhanna as she is subjected to Stupid Signs in an attempt to get her to reveal her future evil plans.

Plot

After Linux Diarrhanna recovered from her crash at the end of the previous video, she begins ranting at her captors but is cut short when Microsoft Geezer arrives. He informs her that since neither errors nor Engrish had worked on her previously, they will now subject her to Stupid and Weird Signs; however, the signs fail to appear when he activates the sign generator. He immediately calls Colonel Ramirez, who has no idea what happened to the signs, though an error reveals they were in his pocket. Microsoft Geezer is then able to begin generating the signs.

The first sign warns to beware of a jumping gay walrus, to which she states that she's lucky to be female and therefore in no danger, though she does wonder if there might be any jumping lesbian walri as well. The second sign reads "Please, no ducks," with an accompanying picture of a very large duck next to two smaller ducks with a "no" sign over it. Linux Diarrhanna "translates" the picture as actually saying "No giant Godzilla ducks about to step on two regular-sized ducks allowed." The next sign is above a urinal and states not to eat gum from the urinal. The very idea of eating urinal gum makes Linux Diarrhanna vomit. The fourth sign warns "Caution: Tomatoes," and she first sarcastically acts afraid of the evil tomatoes but then mentions that she wishes tomatoes really were dangerous so she could have used them in her evil plans. After this, a sign reading "Please do not feed the pidgeons. They do things" appears. She begins by speculating on what exactly the pidgeons might do before realizing what is so awful that a sign is needed to warn about it: when you feed the pidgeons, they make stupid signs like this one! (Rimshot).

The sixth sign is a strange sign with no text. Linux Diarrhanna "translates" the picture as Caution: Strange solid black humans with no hands are punching themselves in the face while a bunch of black lines surround them, to which she observes that this place is very strange. The next sign is a wanted poster advertising a lost cat that is trying to move into someone's house, and she mentions that if the cat has already begun moving furniture in, they might as well give up and let it stay. The next one is a rather confusing sign that is just a notice from a store owner that he and his wife are going on vacation. She laughs for a long time and then just mentions "I don't get it." After this, a note taped to a mirror from "Kellie" asks whoever took a grey penis from under the sink to please stop taking things that aren't theirs, which reminds Linux Diarrhanna about one time when Captain Tux stole the original Tux's penis and tried to do the same to her, but failed as she, being female, does not have one. She also comments on the oddity of someone named "Kellie" apparently being a guy. The final sign states "No Dumping Cats" along with some legal text, and she mistakes this to mean "dumping" as in taking a dump. She realizes that the sign was therefore meant for Microsoft Sam, as he shoves so many things up his anus he undoubtedly has some cats up there as well, prompting Linux Diarrhanna to become grossed out as she wonders how often Sam has dumped cats that a sign was necessary.

Before more signs can appear, Tux Clone #29008732 interrupts by entering the Toilet Jail Cell. After realizing he cannot say "Psst" properly, he gives his master a "completely unsuspicious" cardboard baloney sandwich before returning to his own cell to avoid being caught. Linux Diarrhanna reads the accompanying e-mail, which is poorly spelled but seems to indicate a Grenade Launcher is inside the package. However, upon opening it, the package is revealed to contain a Grenade Lawn Chair instead, causing her to spaz. Then it is shown that Radar Overseer Scotty, being able to tell if a baloney sandwich is real or fake from light years away, discovered this and replaced the Grenade Launcher with a Grenade Lawn Chair. He asks Mike for a baloney sandwich as a reward, but it turns out Scotty ate every baloney sandwich in the sector.

Trivia

  • This is the second one-shot in the series, which is now entitled "Files from the Wonka0111 Asteroid Fortress."
  • Surprisingly, Microsoft Sam does not appear at all. However, he is mentioned.
  • Linux Diarrhanna's spaz caused by the Grenade Lawn Chair is similar to Microsoft Sam's spazzes in "Microsoft Sam Reads Funny Windows Errors" upon finding shmexy pr0nz replaced with Smack Sea Prawns, and IWAY Cookies replaced with Highway Cookies.
  • The idea for the video was suggested by youtuber Noel Durousseaux.

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