Linux Diarrhanna Reads Torturous Engrish is the first Wonka0111 Asteroid Fortress one-shot, taking place a few weeks after Microsoft Mike's Space Adventure.
After her capture at the end of Microsoft Mike's Space Adventure, Linux Diarrhanna is being held prisoner in a toilet in the Wonka0111 Asteroid Fortress dungeons. Meanwhile, Microsoft Sam is finishing taking a diarrhea dump out the airlock, and encounters Microsoft Geezer. He tells Microsoft Geezer that he and Mary are preparing to fly to Earth 2 to make sure the Tux Clones were all defeated, and also says that, on a suggestion from Wonka0111, he thinks they should subject Linux Diarrhanna to Engrish instead of errors as they already tried errors (as seen in Linux Anna Is Forced To Read Insane Errors). Sam leaves and Microsoft Geezer goes to the dungeons, where he meets Colonel Ramirez. Ramirez reports that the Tux Clones are behaving (because Captain Tux is being bombarded with Smack Sea Prawns) and Microsoft Geezer tells him to get some Engrish. They find ten Engrish pictures and force Linux Diarrhanna to read them.
The first is a Batman action figure labeled "Get Ready To Crumble Obscure," which reminds her of Microsoft Geezer. The second is a fortune cookie fortune, which is thankfully not covered in chocolaty goo like last time. The fortune seems to be encouraging her to look at shmexy pr0nz, but she cannot as she is a piece of diarrhea. The third Engrish thing is a subtitled newscast, which states that in Sweden it is against the law to be a criminal. Linux Diarrhanna pretends to be shocked at this incredibly obvious statement. The fourth is a smoothie cup with "Asian" written instead of the person's name, to which Linux Diarrhanna gets extremely pissed off due to the racism. She declares that the person who made the drink will be first to die when she regains her body and takes over the world. The fifth piece of Engrish is a failed Bing translation, which confuses her so much she asks to be done with Engrish but is denied. The sixth is a smoothie flyer asking her to invite a drink tasting, which just confuses her. The seventh Engrish sign states "Buildings of Tang Flavor," and were she not a piece of diarrhea she states that she would taste the buildings to see if they taste like Tang (the drink). Eighth is a weird game-system-thing titled "Retieval Mankind's Batman," which she at first has no comment on because it is too confusing. She then asks Microsoft Geezer if he made this, and if he was drunk when he did so. The ninth bit of Engrish is more racism, this time a bumper sticker that says "Female Asian Driver, Good Luck Everybody Else." She gets pissed off again and declares the person who made the sticker is now second on her list. Finally, a shirt appears that is so confusing that she spazzes out, eventually crashing and exploding.
- This video was the first in several years to come out within a month of the previous video, in this case Microsoft Mike's Space Adventure Episode 10.
- The following Wonka0111 characters do not appear: Bob, Captain Tux, Linux Ninja Master, Wonka0111, and Random High-Pitched Speakonia Voice Who Does The Intro. However, RHPSVWDTI does do his usual voice-over for the intro.