Microsoft Wars is a card game, similar to Yu-Gi-Oh, created by Akriloth2160. It was first played by Microsoft Sam and Microsoft Mike in June 2009.


The game begins with 10,000 points as opposed to Yu-Gi-Oh's 8000 for each two players, the reason for which was quickly covered up by Sam instantly starting the game. Before playing Microsoft Wars, rock-paper-scissors must decide who will go first, again in a similar fashion to Yu-Gi-Oh. The game rules must follow the same as Yu-Gi-Oh until the player reaches zero life points, by means of various card types which obviously parody Yu-Gi-Oh, with Spell Cards replaced with "Helpful Knick-Knack" cards, and Trap Cards replaced with "Fuckup Cards".

Players standing

The characters listed on the table are the standing of winning and losing of the game. (UPDATED: February 20, 2010)

Characters Wins Losses
Microsoft Sam 3 1
Radar Overseer Scotty 1 2
Microsoft Mike 0


Mirosoft Mary 1 0

Famous quotations

  • "Rock, paper, sci... Chuck Norris." --Opponents begins rock-paper-scissors game while Microsoft Sam interrupts (but he got shot on the first game with Radar Overseer Scotty), a common joke
  • "Because I'm Microsoft Sam, and I'm awesome." --Microsoft Sam at the first game of Micrsoft Wars
  • "Because I'm Radar Overseer Scotty, and I'm awesome." --Radar Overseer Scotty, impersonating Microsoft Sam's catchphrase

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