The War in the ROFL Island Chain (known on YouTube as Microsoft Sam and the War in the ROFL Island Chain) is a six-episode text-to-speech comedy sci-fi series written and created by Thunderbirds101. Serving as the first sequel to the War in the Republic of My, the series depicts a war between the United LOLs of ROFLica and a splinter faction from the United Speakonian Soviet Republic, the Soviet Lulz Brigade. Microsoft Sam and many other Speakonia voices were featured. The series is complete and all episodes are online.
|The War in the ROFL Island Chain|
Episode 1: October 24, 2011
Episode 2: December 3, 2011
Episode 3: December 17, 2011
Episode 4: January 14, 2012
Episode 5: March 5, 2012
Episode 6: May 19, 2012
Major Plot Elements
The series depicts Microsoft Sam, Microsoft Mike, Radar Overseer Scotty, and the ROFL Robot during a sudden series of attacks on the ROFL Island Chain in the Atlantic Ocean. It is soon revealed that the perpetrators are members of the Soviet Lulz Brigade, a splinter faction of the United Speakonian Soviet Republic military. The brigade is angry that the USSR is allied with the United Lols of Roflica, and have began attacking both the USSR and the United States, starting with the ROFL Island Chain.
WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Episode 1 - Conflict Brewing
At a remote surveillance outpost in Siberia, Radar Overseer Stanislav communicates with Radar Overseer Yuri, the latter of which is posted in Moscow. They comment on how boring life has been since the destruction of The Supreme AI. Stanislav reflects on the battle on the North-South My border in which he served before the EMP bomb destroyed his vehicle. Yuri says he was in Moscow most of the time, but withdrew from the country days before the Soiturrannian invasion.
A blaring alarm interrupts their conversation; one of the outposts intercepts a communication. The message is from one Scottyvich Baloneykov, Radar Overseer Scotty’s evil Soviet counterpart. Scottyvich is the leader of the Soviet Lulz Brigade, an extremist splinter faction of the USSR, with a fiery hatred of the United LOLs of ROFLica and its allies, including the Republic of My. The brigade supported The Supreme AI, but were powerless to assist in the previous war. Now that the Communist Linux Penguin Army is no more, the Soviet Lulz Brigade can fill the void.
When Radar Overseer Stanislav informs Baloneykov that the USSR is actually allied with the United States, Baloneykov becomes infuriated. Two magically-teleporting OMG Jets bombard the radar stations in Siberia and Moscow, killing both Stanislav and Yuri.
In the Democratic Republic of My, Radar Overseer Clark detects the air attacks in the USSR. He immediately alerts the president of My, Radar Overseer Scotty. Upon learning of the attacks, Scotty opens a line with USSR ruler Pieboy6000 in Moscow. Scotty informs Pieboy of the twin air attacks, and Pieboy confirms the fact. Scotty warns of another War in the Republic of My scenario, but Pieboy downplays this, citing that the Soviet Lulz Brigade is not as sophisticated as The Supreme AI.
A news broadcast blares over the radio on 101.3 ROFL FM. According to the newscast, the Soviet Lulz Brigade and the Democratic Speakonian’s Republic of Korea have formed a military alliance. Alarmed at the developments, Pieboy decides to hold an emergency meeting.
Twelve hours later, Pieboy, Microsoft Sam, Microsoft Mike, and Scotty hold a conference in Mycroft City, in the Republic of My. Sam suggests covert military action against North Korea. Everyone agrees to the plan. Pieboy declares that he will pitch in one hundred Spetsnaz troops. Scotty will contribute fifty Republic of My Baloney Infantry, and Sam will contribute ten ROFLcopters with ten LOL Infantry soldiers each.
The next day, an assault takes place on the north-eastern shores of North Korea. Air sirens blare as the attack begins. From the conference room, Sam, Mike, Scotty, the ROFL Robot, and Pieboy all watch as the attacks commence. In a satellite in orbit above Earth 2, a Soviet Lulz Brigade technician receives an order from Baloneykov to begin Operation Red Death. The technician complies and begins the firing sequence for the satellite, as it is an orbital laser weapon. The weapon charges and fires on North Korea, vaporizing the invading forces.
Back in Mycroft City, the gang is initially confused when their feed is suddenly disrupted. However, they quickly realize their entire force has been wiped out by a satellite laser weapon in orbit. They are stunned at the turn of events: Sam recites his typical profanity, Mike is alarmed and fears retaliation, and Pieboy fears the worst, following the complete annihilation of their attack force.
Baloneykov places a transmission to the conference. He mocks the men for their pathetic attempt to destroy the alliance. Balonykov warns of a deadly retaliation against the United States, the USSR, and the Republic of My. Pieboy demands Balonykov cease the attacks, but Baloneykov balks at the demands, warning Pieboy that the Soviet Lulz Brigade could inflict more damage than The Supreme AI could ever have done. Baloneykov reveals the Horribly Deformed Midget Pig Monkeys with Automatic Firearms survived the Republic of My war, and have now joined the Soviet Lulz Brigade. Baloneykov mocks Sam one last time before signing off.
Fuming with rage, Microsoft Sam decides to go to space and prepare the Orbital ROFL Laser. He takes Mike, Scotty, and the ROFL Robot with him aboard the USS Radar Overseer, and Pieboy6000 returns to the USSR.
At the ULR-owned ROFL Island Chain in the Atlantic Ocean, the area is quiet. The island chain is mostly uninhabited, save for wildlife, a few tourist resorts, and an American radar outpost on the main island. The island chain serves as an early warning system for the United States. At the radar station, Radar Overseer Cooper is monitoring the radar, when something alarming comes up. He detects at least one hundred aerial units approaching the island, none of them friendly. He desperately warns Microsoft Sam and Pieboy6000 of the threat to the ROFL Island Chain, before the radio is consumed by static. Sam realizes the worst is happening. The ROFL Island Chain is the Soviet Lulz Brigade’s first target for retaliation.
Episode 2 - Blitzkrieg Attack
The Soviet Lulz Brigade, in a joint operation with North Korean forces, invade the ROFL Island Chain. Radar Overseer Cooper tries to escape in his OMG Jet, but is shot down and killed by the Soviet Lulz Brigade.
In Washington DC, it is decided that an EAS bulletin must be aired to the public. Invasion is taking place in the ROFL Island Chain.
In the orbit above Earth, the Speakonia gang is aboard the USS Radar Overseer en route to the Orbital ROFL Laser. The Central Intelligence Agency contacts them, informing the gang of the blitzkrieg attacks on the ROFL Island Chain. Sam is alarmed, but at the same time unsurprised that Scottyvich Balonykov made good on his threats. Mike asks the CIA agent - James Rofl - about casualties. The CIA agent says that Radar Overseer Cooper has been killed, and many tourists at the beach resorts have been killed. At least 200 tourists have been captured by the Soviet Lulz Brigade. Finally, Rofl announces that Great Britain is joining with the USA/USSR/RepMy to fight the Soviet Lulz Brigade and North Korea, after a Soviet Lulz Brigade-sponsored car bombing in London.
At the ROFL Island Chain's main island, Balonykov plans out his strategy. He decides to build a beachhead on the ROFL Island Chain, as a base to strike at the United States. Balonykov orders the bases to be established.
In orbit, the USS Radar Overseer docks on the Orbital ROFL Laser. The gang plans to use the laser against North Koroflia and cripple the military alliance between the Brigade and North Korea. The ROFL Robot takes a diagnostics check, but discovers something missing: Pwntassium Lolbalt, an important mineral needed to supercharge the laser. Thankfully, the mineral is abundant on Earth 2, in the icy plains of Antarctica. The gang decides to head to the South Pole to find the minerals.
At the ROFL Island Chain, Balonykov contacts Kim Jong-Lol, leader of North Korea. Baloneykov informs the leader that their bases are being constructed. Most should be finished within a day. Kim Jong-Lol is pleased. He rejoices at the fact he has the ability to strike the United States from an island one hundred miles southeast of Florida. Suddenly, Baloneykov is informed of a space shuttle re-entering Earth 2, en route to Antarctica. It is identified as the USS Radar Overseer. Baloneykov instantly recognizes the craft as belonging to Microsoft Sam and his gang. He orders several OMG Jets to pursue and shoot down the spacecraft.
As Scotty pilots the USS Radar Overseer into Antarctica, Sam examines a map, and points out that the minerals are most abundant near the centre of the continent. Mike hopes that the Soviet Lulz Brigade won’t stop them from getting these minerals, because the last time they tried to get something from a foreign land, the enemy stole it from them (Soiturranna).
On cue, two Soviet Lulz Brigade OMG Jets appear out of nowhere. They demand the USS Radar Overseer leave the area or they will be shot down. Scotty refuses and takes evasive maneuvers. He is able to shoot down one of the jets, but the other jet opens fire, critically damaging the USS Radar Overseer. The ship crashes into the icy desert.
The OMG Jet pilot reports his success, but also reports his comrade was shot down as well. Baloneykov dismisses the casualty sustained. He is pleased Sam and his gang has been crippled. One of Baloneykov’s men reports that the missile sites are operational. Baloneykov is pleased, and orders his special ops team to ready up for an operation in Los Angeles, California. This operation will set the course for an invasion.
In Antarctica, Microsoft Sam and the gang wander the area, having long abandoned their ruined spaceship. Scotty and Mike argue over the fact that they may lose this war. The ROFL Robot however, detects an outpost about a mile from their location. The gang decides to head over there, and hope for the best.
Episode 3 - Turning Point
A news report on a radio station in Los Angeles reports that five men have illegally entered the United LOLs of ROFLica through the Mexico-California border crossing. It is suspected that they may be members of a terrorist group, possibly the Soviet Lulz Brigade, planning an attack somewhere in the country. All civilians are told to remain vigilant.
Microsoft Sam and the gang wander the frozen plains of Antarctica, proceeding towards an unknown outpost.
In the ROFL Island Chain, the Soviet Lulz Brigade has set up shop completely. Scottyvich Baloneykov orders his top men to draw up invasion plans for Florida. The special ops team is en route to Los Angeles for the “operation.”
In Antarctica, Microsoft Sam and the gang arrive at the outpost. The outpost belongs to Great Britain. The commander there, AT88TV, agrees to help the gang get back to the United States. However, they detect a snowstorm approaching. They will have to wait out the storm at the outpost.
In the ROFL Island Chain, the SLB commanders reveal that the United States, USSR, Great Britain, and RepMy forces have begun to mobilize, on alert in case the SLB/NK forces want to attack. An attempt to invade the United States now would probably fail. Frustrated, Baloneykov states that his “operation” will continue as planned in Los Angeles. Regardless, he tries to think up of a new plan. He contacts Satan at planet Hell, requesting assistance from the Satan and the Devil's Hell Star. They accept the offer. Before the two depart, Devil’s Hell Star reveals he has rebuilt his assistant robot, who will also be joining them.
However, Baloneykov still doesn't think that is enough. Without describing his plans, he leaves the base aboard a spaceship with a team of elite scientists and engineers en route to the original planet Earth.
Three days later, another news report is aired. A military base in San Diego has issued an alert after several canisters of ROFL-6 Nerve Gas were stolen from a bunker in the base overnight.
A day later, after the snowstorm passes, Microsoft Sam and the gang take several British OMG Jets back to the United States. They pass by the ROFL Island Chain. Almost immediately, a SAM turret on the island opens fire. Mike’s jet is struck and he crashes in the middle of the Soviet Lulz Brigade camp. He is swiftly captured by the Horribly Deformed Midget Pig Monkeys with Automatic Firearms. All of the others escape the barrage.
At Los Angeles International Airport, five men armed with assault rifles and machine guns stage an attack, massacring hundreds of civilians. The rampage lasts for a few minutes, before they detonate six canisters of ROFL-6 Nerve Gas in a semi-trailer truck near the main terminal of the airport when police arrive. All the gunmen are killed. The HazMat team that arrives an hour later discovers a flash drive and written orders from a USSR government leader to attack the American homeland. Stunned, the men alert the Central Intelligence Agency, and in turn James Rofl alerts Microsoft Sam of the attack and the possibility of being betrayed by the USSR. Enraged, Sam decides to go to the United Nations to confront the USSR representatives.
An EAS bulletin is aired. Civil Danger Emergency for Los Angeles.
Meanwhile, Scottyvich Baloneykov arrives at the remains of the original planet Earth. He notices the carnage left behind by the battle four months earlier. He directs the shuttle into the Diarrhea Death Star II’s remains. He collects a large amount of debris and reveals his plan to reconstruct The Supreme AI.
In New York City, Microsoft Sam, Radar Overseer Scotty, and the ROFL Robot depart the United Nations, having finished their confrontation with the USSR. The trio walk through downtown Manhattan. They discuss how they discovered at least a third of the USSR government is in league with the Soviet Lulz Brigade, and this has sent the USSR into a crisis, forcing Pieboy to choose between hunting down the traitors or assisting the military force helping the United States take back the ROFL Island Chain.
As Scottyvich Baloneykov’s shuttle flies back to Earth 2, the Soviet Lulz Brigade worker droids reconstruct The Supreme AI. She comes back online, albeit with glitches. Her first words: “I want Microsoft Sam’s head on a plate.”
Episode 4 - Catastrophic Collapse
Scottyvich Baloneykov's worker droids fix up The Supreme AI. They complete moments later. The droids report that the The Supreme AI is back to normal functionality. At that moment, The Supreme AI analyses the Soviet Lulz Brigade, questioning Baloneykov and his actions. She fiercely criticizes the Soviet Lulz Brigade, calling it a pathetic attempt to eliminate the enemies of the Communists. She first hacks into the shuttle causing it to malfunction. Next, she mocks Baloneykov, knowing that his organization is doomed. As The Supreme AI teleports back to Earth 2, the shuttle explodes, killing Baloneykov and his elite team.
A news report on ROFL News Radio reports that Kim Jong-Lol has died from a severe cardiac event. As a result, North Korea has severed its military alliance with the Soviet Lulz Brigade and withdrawn all of its forces from the ROFL Island Chain.
In New York City, Microsoft Sam is still infuriated at the attack in Los Angeles. He ponders launching a nuclear strike on Moscow in retaliation to teach the USSR a lesson. Scotty strongly advises against it, saying that would surely end the world in a global thermonuclear war, and reminds Sam they already lost one Earth already back in 2009. Radar Overseer Clark, also present, believes that if the USSR is attacked, the planet would be razed to the ground.
In the Brigade camp in the ROFL Island Chain, the soldiers can’t contact Baloneykov. Concerned, the forces on the island chain are put on alert. The Supreme AI then arrives. She announces the death of Baloneykov, and immediately hacks into the Soviet Lulz Brigade soldiers’ genetic code. She transforms them into Linux Penguins, transforming the organization into the now-reborn Communist Linux Penguin Army.
Back in New York City, Sam ponders what to do next. The immediate objective calls for the rescue of Mike. However, the internal conflict the USSR is facing has strained the war plan. Without the help of the USSR, the United States can’t stage a full-scale attack on the ROFL Island Chain. Suddenly, they are contacted by the Central Intelligence Agency. James Rofl tells the gang that fresh satellite images have revealed that the ROFL Island Chain is now infested with Tux Penguin soldiers, and that The Supreme AI was spotted as well. Shocked, Sam realizes that the Soviet Lulz Brigade rebuilt The Supreme AI. However, he is confused at the sight of the Tux Penguins, believing that the Communist Linux Penguin Army was obliterated four months earlier.
At the now-Communist Linux Penguin Army camp, Microsoft Mike is being tortured with electrocution by the head Tux Penguin soldier, Commander Ubuntux. The commander demands to know where Mike’s friends are. Mike refuses to budge. He questions why the Soviet Lulz Brigade is doing this. The commander laughs, stating that the Soviet Lulz Brigade is no more, as they have been hacked into and replaced.
Satan and the Devil’s Hell Star arrive at the ROFL Island Chain. They ask to see Baloneykov. The Supreme AI says she killed them for their incompetence. Slightly confused, Satan asks what The Supreme AI plans to do. The evil superpowered entity responds by stating that she will first reduce Europe and Asia into a pile of ashes. Devil’s Hell Star thinks this action sounds suspiciously like the plot of Modern Warfare 3, but The Supreme AI does not care. Operation: Electromagnetic Doom is about to unleash its wrath. At that point, Satan and the Devil’s Hell Star give two massive energy bombs to The Supreme AI. She loads them onto two drones and sends the first bomb to the Pacific Ocean and the second to the Atlantic Ocean.
At a military base in New York, Microsoft Sam, Radar Overseer Scotty, and the ROFL Robot team up for a covert assault on the ROFL Island Chain to rescue Mike and gather intelligence. The ROFL Robot and Radar Overseer Clark leave to join the ROFL Intelligence Agency in Washington DC. Meanwhile, Sam and Scotty form a team of several ULR soldiers, known as Roflcopter Squad, containing four other soldiers by the names of Diarrhea, Taco, Bacon, and Chainsaw. They depart in a C-130 cargo plane en route to the ROFL Island Chain. An hour later, the ROFL Intelligence Agency launches a UAV, also en route for the ROFL Island Chain.
In Vancouver, Canada, Pieboy6000 arrives at the Pieboy Tower, when suddenly air sirens roar, with a computerized voice warning of a nuclear attack. Further, he notices the nuclear missiles are being prepped for launched. Alarmed, he calls Nuclear Weapon Overseer Fedorov and demands an explanation. Shouting over alarms, Fedorov says a hacker has breached their system and has seized control of the nuclear launch controls, sabotaging the abort codes and preventing the team from stopping the launch. Twenty-two missiles have already launched in the far east USSR. The team estimates the missiles are being aimed at cities across Europe and Asia, including Russian territories. Pieboy tries to disarm them, but it is too late. All twenty-two missiles reach their targets and detonate. The multiple explosions unleash a deadly EMP over the continents, and level many major cities to the ground.
Word of the catastrophic attacks reaches the United States. James Rofl informs Sam and his team of the attack. All of Europe and Asia have lost electricity. At least ten cities in Europe were destroyed, and at least twelve cities in Asia were destroyed.
The catastrophic attack has rendered the USSR and all other countries in two continents defenseless. Scotty is terrified for the safety of his country, the Republic of My.
Suddenly, two massive energy bombs are detonated in the Pacific and Atlantic oceans. Each explosion generates a deadly, one kilometre high tsunami that wipes out the Western and Eastern Seaboard of the ULR. However, the Central Intelligence Agency survives the tsunami, as well as Washington DC, New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and ROFL City, having activated their anti-disaster shields in time. The rest of the two seaboards lie in ruins, the tsunami reaching as far as Wisconsin in the east, and Idaho in the west. Strangely, the ROFL Island Chain was unaffected, despite being in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean
Sam is convinced The Supreme AI is carrying out these attacks and must be stopped. The pilot of the C-130 announces they are now over the ROFL Island Chain. The six-man team exits the craft and begins the HALO jump.
Episode 5 - Island Scouts
A video broadcast airs across the television networks of the United States of America. The Supreme AI speaks, mocking the inhabitants of Earth 2.
Over the ROFL Island Chain, Sam and the team complete their HALO jump in on the far side of the main island. The team ready their weapons. From Washington DC, the ROFL Robot reports that the UAV is now over the island. The team is about ten kilometres from the Communist Linux Penguin Army base. The team proceeds down a jungle path. They encounter a CLPA scout. Chainsaw kills him.
At the ROFL Intelligence Agency, James Rofl calculates that at least fifty million people are dead from the deadly attacks overseas, and he estimates hundreds of millions more will die given that Europe and Asia have lost all electronic systems. Clark is in shock over the destruction of the two biggest cities in the Republic of My. Meanwhile, the ROFL Robot flies the UAV over the ROFL Island Chain. He directs the team through a portion of the jungle.
Sam and the team come across the wreckage of Radar Overseer Cooper’s jet. Cooper’s body is missing. As they examine the crashed jet, they are ambushed by three CLPA soldiers. Diarrhea is shot in the head and killed instantly, but the three CLPA soldiers are killed without further loss of life. The ROFL Robot flies the UAV over the team, and detects the abandoned radar outpost nearby. The now-five man team proceeds to the outpost and reactivates the systems inside.
Satan and the Devil’s Hell Star communicate with The Supreme AI regarding their plans. Satan believes that if he summons his Satanic Army from Hell, Earth 2 will fall quickly. However, The Supreme AI thinks that the CLPA can handle the war and will have no problems now that the USSR is crippled from internal conflicts. At that moment, Devil’s Hell Star’s assistant robot reports that hostiles are on the island. Microsoft Sam is leading a squad of men on the island, supposedly to take out the hostiles. The Supreme AI laughs and says nothing more.
Through scans of the island, Microsoft Sam’s team detects a hidden mining system underneath the island, previously undiscovered. Sam brings up the fact that the mining system plot was already used in the Republic of My war. They discover recordings indicating that Baloneykov had corrupted government officials within the USSR to secretly join the Soviet Lulz Brigade and form a conspiracy to plunge the USSR into civil war between Pieboy’s Loyalists and the Brigade. Furthermore, Radar Overseer Cooper was also involved in the plot, acting as a double agent. However, the plot was thrown into disarray after the terrorists in the Los Angeles attack left intel shattering the conspiracy and fell apart further after Baloneykov’s death. As they secure the evidence and prepare to move, The Supreme AI then contacts them, subtly threatening them with death.
A series of beeps shriek inside the tower. Sam orders everyone out. As they escape, the tower explodes. Sam, Taco, and Bacon escape unscathed. However, Chainsaw is dead, and Scotty has broken both of his legs and his right arm.
Frustrated, Sam contacts the CIA, informing them of the deaths of Chainsaw and Diarrhea, the severe injury of Scotty, and the discovery of evidence that clears the USSR of any wrongdoing regarding the attack in Los Angeles. James Rofl acknowledges, saying that the invasion will begin as soon as he gets approval from Pieboy6000.
The Supreme AI, deep within the mining tunnels underneath the ROFL Island Chain, communicates with Commander Ubuntux, who has left Earth 2 and is communicating from an unknown location. She believes her enemies will be invading shortly. She has plans for them, but advises Ubuntux to prepare for Operation Downfall.
As Sam tends to Scotty, the roar of jets can be heard. Gunfire erupts. The final battle to take back the ROFL Island Chain - the main phase of Operation Island Liberation - is beginning.
Episode 6 - Faux Liberation
The battle for the ROFL Island Chain has begun. Phase two of Operation Island Liberation is in full swing: the counter-invasion of the island.
Scotty is extracted from the islands by helicopter. After Scotty is safely extracted, the ROFL Robot guides the UAV to a secret area on the far side of the main island, where the entrance to the catacombs is located. Sam, Taco, and Bacon proceed.
Deep within the catacombs, Mike is being held in an empty dungeon. Water can be heard dripping. The Supreme AI enters. She taunts Mike, stating that the ROFL Island Chain may be liberated by his allies, but it is only a minor inconvenience, for the “real operation” will begin soon.
Sam, Taco, and Bacon walk through the jungle, as the sounds of battle roar around them. They come across a hidden entrance, and enter the mines. As they enter, a mortar lands on the entrance, caving it in. He contacts the ROFL Robot and informs them they are trapped in the mine. The ROFL Robot acknowledges, and switches the UAV to thermal and prepares to scan the underground areas of the island. As the robot does, the UAV is shot down. James ROFL informs Sam that he and his team will have to face the dangers of the mine on their own.
Deep within the mine, Mike breaks free from his cell. He is confronted by a CLPA guard, but quickly kills him and steals his assault rifle. He sneaks through the mine.
As Sam, Bacon, and Taco continue through the mine, they come across the Devil’s Hell Star’s assistant robot. The robot immediately alerts the Devil’s Hell Star that Sam is in the mine. Sam blasts the robot with his ROFL-47, destroying it. However, the trio are confronted by the Horribly Deformed Midget Pig Monkeys with Automatic Firearms. Sam holds them off while Taco and Bacon escape, but he quickly runs out of ammo. Sam is captured.
The Supreme AI communicates once again with Commander Ubuntux. She asks if everything is ready and the commander says they are almost ready.
Mike kills another scout in the mine. He then comes across Taco and Bacon, who report that Sam has been captured. Suddenly, explosions rock the mine. An airstrike outside has collapsed a tunnel. Mike leads Taco and Bacon further into the mine.
Outside, most of the CLPA soldiers have been defeated. The camp lies in ruins. Airstrikes and infantry attacks continue.
Mike, Taco, and Bacon come across The Supreme AI’s room. However, no one is inside. They find a laptop that shows camera footage indicating that The Supreme AI has fled the island chain, along with Satan, the Devil’s Hell Star, the HDMPMWAFs, and their prisoner Microsoft Sam.
Two more explosions rock the mine, caving in another shaft. As Mike and the gang prepare to leave, they are ambushed by Mr. Information Robot Mark V, who looks like Robo Enforcer. The robot floods the trio with information, causing them to have an “information seizure.” The trio are incapacitated and the Robot flees.
An hour later, a three-man American special ops team enters the room, finding the three men. Mike tells them Mr. Information Robot is back. They know as the robot attacked at least fifteen other soldiers with his rapid information barrage. The trio are taken to the surface, where the battle has finally ended. The CLPA have been eradicated from the island chain.
The USS Roflican Patriot arrives at the island chain. The ROFL Robot and James Rofl emerge, congratulating the team on their victory, but express concern over the kidnapping of Microsoft Sam. Mike thinks they should first secure their homelands before going after Sam.
At that moment, Sam suddenly returns to the island via teleportation. He says he escaped his captors using their teleporter. He has vital information on Operation Downfall. It is a doomsday plot to wipe out the population of Earth 2. While he was aboard the CLPA ship, The Supreme AI revealed that Devil’s Hell Star has a power capable of wiping out all life on the surface of a planet called “The Cleanser”. When triggered, the blast will kill everyone on Earth 2 that is above ground. Horrified, everyone rushes to get into the underground catacombs of the ROFL Island Chain so they may escape the blast, as Sam reveals the blast will occur in only a few moments.
As they seal off the catacombs to prevent the blast from getting in, The Supreme AI contacts Sam and the gang. She boasts that Earth 2 is done for. She has evacuated all of the Communist Linux Penguin Army to a secret location. She then says goodbye, and remotely detonates the device. Devil’s Hell Star unleashes “The Cleanser”. The blast wipes out most of the inhabitants of Earth 2. The only people to survive the blast were those who got underground or escaped the planet in time. Sam says, “I swear, this is not over. I will not rest until The Supreme AI is eradicated once and for all, and can never be rebuilt again. It is time to fight one last, great, final war.”
Characters with their names in italics are deceased.
- Microsoft Sam (Appeared in Episodes 1-6)
- Microsoft Mike (Appeared in Episodes 1-6)
- Radar Overseer Scotty (Appeared in Episodes 1-5)
- The ROFL Robot (Appeared in Episodes 1-6)
- Pieboy6000 (Appeared in Episode 1 and 4)
- Radar Overseer Clark (Appeared in Episode 1, 4, and 5)
- ROFL Intelligence Agency Officer James ROFL (Appeared in Episodes 2-6)
- Taco (US Commando - Roflcopter Three) - (Appeared in Episodes 4-6)
- Bacon (US Commando - Roflcopter Two) - (Appeared in Episodes 4-6)
- Hacker (US Commando) - (Appeared in Episode 6)
- Shadow (US Commando) - (Appeared in Episode 6)
- Rooster (US Commando) - (Appeared in Episode 6)
- Security Overseer Eric (Appeared in Episode 3)
- Nuclear Weapon Overseer Fedorov (Appered in Episode 4)
- Diarrhea (US Commando - Roflcopter Four) - (Appeared in Episodes 4-5, killed in Episode 5 by a CLPA soldier)
- Chainsaw (US Commando - Roflcopter One) - (Appeared in Episode 4-5, killed in Episode 5 by The Supreme AI)
- Security Agent Patrick (Appeared in Episode 3, killed in Episode 3 by Soviet Lulz Brigade terrorists)
- Radar Overseer Cooper (Appeared in Episodes 1-2, killed in Episode 2 by the Soviet Lulz Brigade)
- Radar Overseer Stanislav (Appeared in Episode 1, killed in Episode 1 by an OMG Jet)
- Radar Overseer Yuri (Appeared in Episode 1, killed in Episode 1 by an OMG Jet)
- The Supreme AI (Appeared in Episodes 3-6)
- Commander Ubuntux (Appeared in Episodes 4-6)
- Satan (Appeared in Episodes 3-5)
- Devil's Hell Star (Appeared in Episodes 3-6)
- The Horribly Deformed Midget Pig Monkeys with Automatic Firearms (Appeared in Episodes 1, 3, and 6)
- Mr. Information Robot Mark V (Appeared in Episode 6)
- Devil's Hell Star's Robot Assistant (Appeared in Episodes 3, 5, and 6, destroyed in Episode 6 by Microsoft Sam)
- Scottyvich Baloneykov (Appeared in Episodes 1-4, killed in Episode 4 by The Supreme AI)
- Kim Jong-Lol (Appeared in Episode 2, killed in between Episodes 2 and 4 by a severe heart attack)
The ROFL Island Chain
- Main island
- U.S. radar station
- Soviet Lulz Brigade/Communist Linux Penguin Army base
- Underground catacombs
- Los Angeles
- Washington DC
- New York City
- US-Mexico border (mentioned only)
- San Diego (mentioned only)
- Florida (satellite image only)
- British military outpost
- London (mentioned only)
- The draft for the final episode of the series featured Microsoft Sam kidnapped by the CLPA, the same as in the final version of the episode. However, in the draft, Microsoft Sam would remain captured and fail to reappear on the ROFL Island Chain. Microsoft Mike would have assumed leadership of the gang as the CLPA and Hell staged a joint invasion of Earth 2, leading directly to The Great Final War. Microsoft Sam would have been taken to a CLPA-controlled world while Mike and the rest of the team battled against the Supreme AI's forces. Rewrites resulted in the use of the Cleanser and the alteration of the plot events.